You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize