Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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