That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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