Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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