yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
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Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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