does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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