i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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