dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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