If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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