You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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