Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize