In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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