your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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