Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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