Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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