***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
how drunk are you?
Several
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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