my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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