So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize