I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize