I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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