I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
4 words: hood of his car
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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