im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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