I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize