I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
His nipple licking is glorious
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