I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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