forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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