Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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