you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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