Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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