I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
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oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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