Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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