the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize