He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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