You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize