i used baking grease as lip gloss
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize