Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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