yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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