So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize