Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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