So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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