i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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