yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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