the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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