Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize