Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize