Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize