I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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