Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
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He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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