My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize