So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize